Sunday, June 19, 2011

If you were a superhero...

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

I asked this question at a recent party and got a lesson in the differences in gender thinking.  The guys in the room pretty much blurted out the same power and then proceeded to argue about who said it first.  I never said only one person per power so I’m not sure why they were fighting.  After all it is a hypothetical and I am not actually handing out powers.  As the guys were all arguing, the women told us what they thought of the power the guys picked.

Invisibility is for pervs
Chided by the women, the men stopped arguing and started to talk about less obviously lewd super powers.  Super strength.  Super speed.  Super healing.  They began discussing the advantages of each.

Then my wife spoke up and said she wanted to be able to breath underwater.  I asked her if she would have the ability to speak to sea creatures and she said, “No, just breathing under water.”

Huh?  Just breathing under water?  Wow.  If you want to make Aquaman even more useless, just take away his ability to speak to the denizens of the sea.  No self-respecting sea horse would allow a stranger who can’t introduce himself ride him.

“Why breathing under water?” I asked.

“I really enjoy swimming,” she said.

I realized that while the guys were thinking of powers to increase their kick-assed-ness, she was thinking of the enjoyment factor.  Once she said it, the other women started chiming in.

“I used to love to draw.  I’d love to be able to create works of art.”

I started to say, “That really isn’t a super power,” but my wife shot me a look before I got to the word “super”.  So I just nodded my head as if to say, “Yes, being an artist can stop criminals in their tracks.”

The A is for Artist

What was next?  “I want to have super strength…of character?”

Actually, what followed was no longer about super powers but general wish fulfillment.  Being able to sing.  Being able to play piano.  The guys, who really wanted to discuss the finer points of the powers they selected, looked at me, pleadingly.  I shrugged.  It was out of my hands.

My power?  Teleportation.  But I’d settle for the ability to keep conversations on track.

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