Sunday, June 19, 2011

If you were a superhero...

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

I asked this question at a recent party and got a lesson in the differences in gender thinking.  The guys in the room pretty much blurted out the same power and then proceeded to argue about who said it first.  I never said only one person per power so I’m not sure why they were fighting.  After all it is a hypothetical and I am not actually handing out powers.  As the guys were all arguing, the women told us what they thought of the power the guys picked.


Invisibility is for pervs
Chided by the women, the men stopped arguing and started to talk about less obviously lewd super powers.  Super strength.  Super speed.  Super healing.  They began discussing the advantages of each.

Then my wife spoke up and said she wanted to be able to breath underwater.  I asked her if she would have the ability to speak to sea creatures and she said, “No, just breathing under water.”

Huh?  Just breathing under water?  Wow.  If you want to make Aquaman even more useless, just take away his ability to speak to the denizens of the sea.  No self-respecting sea horse would allow a stranger who can’t introduce himself ride him.


“Why breathing under water?” I asked.

“I really enjoy swimming,” she said.

I realized that while the guys were thinking of powers to increase their kick-assed-ness, she was thinking of the enjoyment factor.  Once she said it, the other women started chiming in.

“I used to love to draw.  I’d love to be able to create works of art.”

I started to say, “That really isn’t a super power,” but my wife shot me a look before I got to the word “super”.  So I just nodded my head as if to say, “Yes, being an artist can stop criminals in their tracks.”

The A is for Artist

What was next?  “I want to have super strength…of character?”

Actually, what followed was no longer about super powers but general wish fulfillment.  Being able to sing.  Being able to play piano.  The guys, who really wanted to discuss the finer points of the powers they selected, looked at me, pleadingly.  I shrugged.  It was out of my hands.

My power?  Teleportation.  But I’d settle for the ability to keep conversations on track.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

No More Arnold

Ok, so I realize now that I have, in my blog posts up to now, managed to have two separate devices in a character role played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.  This was actually coincidence and not a sign that this is a Schwarzenegger-themed blog.  To make that point clear, I will not have another device saying anything an Arnold Schwarzenegger character has said.  I think I am safe in making that pledge. 

UPDATE:  Last night I dreamt I came up with a pretty funny idea for a drawing that featured a device as a Schwarzenegger character.  When I woke up, I couldn't remember the idea but it got me wondering.  What if, because I made this pledge, my mind suddenly filled with ideas based on Schwarzenegger characters.  Like when someone tells you not to think of an elephant, what if I am setting myself up for frustration because the pledge makes me continually think of Arnold-themed concepts?  Then I had myself a bit of a chuckle.  I mean, really, how many ideas based on Arnold could there be?  Haven't I covered a lot of ground with the two I created?  Technically three if you count original Terminator and good Terminator as two.  Anyways, I think the pledge is safe.

UPDATE:  Ok, so it turns out this guy is in over 26 movies.  Should I really be limiting myself?  There might be some good material to mine that I am ignoring just because I coincidentally referenced his characters in two posts and didn't want it to look like a trend.  Is this pledge really worth it?

Just had to get that out.  I'm sure nothing will come of it.  Pledge is safe.

UPDATE:  Screw the pledge!